Fat Glossary

An easy quick-reference guide to more readily understand Fat terminology. This will be updated as more research into my massive greatness is performed, so a quick link has been established in the Resources section.

Buffatmosphere: The all encompassing arousal of the senses as one enters the domain of the buffet. The smell, taste, location and freshness of food. The promptness of service, the music encouraging a ninth trip to the Mongolian BBQ. Refers to the dining experience in its entirety, be it pleasureable or blasphemous.

Fatiquette: A mutual understanding between Fat People and inferior creatures respecting the laws, logistics, and expectations for Fat behavior. An established code of ethics and guidelines tailored to any public or personal situation.

Fatosphere: The section of the Earth's atmosphere reaching temperatures that force all lipids into a natural solid state, causing a euphoric sense of monumental accomplishment and arrival in those whose blood type is olive oil. It is no coincidence that this is the same temperature where sweating is completely inhibited. Fat People everywhere seek this level of attainment, for it is associated with a greater intelligence known by few, and a higher plane of existence or enlightenment. Where God, or Heaven, is thought to be found as those who reach the Fatosphere require no further sustenance.
Slang: Referring to one who has accomplished a feat requiring exceptional beauty, intelligence, fortitude, stamina, wit, or charm. Ex: "That bitch be in the Fatosphere!", he exclaimed diabetically.

Goodyear Stretch-Tread Technology: A system of interlocking treads developed naturally by Goodyear, based on patented patterns of Fat stretch marks of the "tootsie roll". One of many scientific phenomena demonstrating the evolution of Fat People into higher beings. It's true because Patrick Stewart made it so through pimped out voice-over narration.

Salad Bar: Descriptive terminology, referring to egregious pagan practices unbefitting the rank of Fat, including (but not limited to) any consumption of vegetables in proportions larger than "garnish". Fat People arm themselves with this universal battle cry to condemn heathen behavior as blasphemy, often in combination with wailing, gnashing of teeth in hunger, and wrenting of clothing so as to bring the perpetrator to repentant justice.